Remembering My Big Brother John

Hurricane Irma, although not a direct hit on where I live in Melbourne Florida, was a large storm that caused lots of damage and stress to the people who live here. There were moments when the winds were at their highest that I thought the front door might not hold. The wind was banging it and it was creaking. I placed a 2x4 against the doorknob and kicked it tight so it would hold onto the tiled floor. That board started to squeak. I had bought a new Yeti cooler that was full of drinks and ice, I placed that against it but the door continued to make noises under the strain of the tropical storm force winds with the occasional gust near hurricane speeds. I had no power so the only noise I could hear was the howling of the winds and the sound of debris falling throughout the neighborhood and that damn door. That is stress. I was lucky that my power came on within two days. Some people waited a week and there are others that do not have it yet.

The next day the phone rang; it was my nephew Jared in Vermont. I figured he was checking up on me because of the storm. But as soon as I answered and heard his voice, I knew something was wrong. When he said the words that John had died, my heart sank. I did not think things could be worse after Irma, but it could. In an instant, the whole world changed!

John was seven years older than me and Tom is two years older. John was old enough that when I was in grade school at St. Mary's, he was in high school at MUHS. My big brother played football. Of course, my big sister Patsy was a cheerleader, but she was three years older than John. She left Middlebury when I was only 8. Later in life, I would get to know her better, but John was around when I was a kid.

All of us kids went to St Mary's and all of us received our first communion there. Patsy had hers in 1954. John's was the year I was born so I missed it by a few months. Patsy looked pretty in white. John was praying he would never have to wear those pants again...

Can you find John in this First Communion Photo? Third row, second from left. That is Francis Paquette in the middle front row. Looks like the girls had it made in this class, two-to-one boys to girls ratio.

Going to Maine and camping were important parts of my childhood. My parents made sure we saw a lot of other places too. From Nova Scotia to Florida. John became an avid outdoors-man. He loved his hunting and fishing. Here is John with cousin Charley at Old Orchard Beach in Maine...

 Patsy, John and cousin Marcia swimming in the ocean at Maine...

We camped a lot in Canada too. Here is John with me next to the Rambler. That is our tent and orange and blue canopy. I was happy to stand next to my big brother.

Big brother John became my hero in the summer of 1964 or 1965 (not exactly sure of the year ). My neighbor, Rene Paquette, and I were playing down by Otter Creek where we knew we did not belong. The currents are pretty strong behind our house and we got too close. Details are not necessary, but Rene fell in. I tried to reach him but he was being pulled under the rocks. I made a decision as a seven-year-old that ended up saving Rene's life. I left Rene to go up the hill to our house and find help. I knew we were in trouble. Everyone was there and as I said what had happened, John was already running back down toward the river. He found Rene and pulled him out. He was the hero. He was only 14. I know that Rene always remembered the story, but it has kind of been forgotten.

And to prove he was a hero, John did square dancing with my sister Patsy...

Camping in Maine was a yearly adventure. This picture has my dad, John and me. But what the picture really shows is that our adventures as a family always included others. We always invited someone along to join us. In this picture, I have David Paquette along, we almost always had a Paquette. John had brought his girlfriend Sally Mitchell. Dad worked with Madeline Gardner at the National Bank who is with her husband Dick and daughter Roxanne. The couple on the left is Larry Dixon and his wife. Larry was a star on the Middlebury College Hockey team. John had started his relationship with the college when he was a cook at Proctor Hall. That link to the college would never be broken.

After Jared had called, I was in total shock. But I knew I had to write at least three emails. One was to Dave Riley. Dave was a great friend of John back in high school. He was always asking me how John was doing.

Another was Tim Whitney, who now lives in Montana. Although he had lost touch with John, he too asked often how John was doing. He told me that John and Sally (second from left) had introduced him to Judy Leggett and they went on a date. Tim ended up marrying Judy and they are still married today with kids and grand-kids. This picture has Mike Rowe, Sally Mitchell, Jay Torrey, Zilda Deering, and a Bottle of Boone's Farm.

Boone's Farm. That is another memory I have about John. He had, what I call, his drink periods. The first was the Boone's Farm period. And that is what everyone was drinking. Hell, he bought me a case of twelve bottles my Freshman year in High School. I got the whole class drunk before our skit for Winter Carnival. On Monday, we were being admonished by our English teacher Miss Suplicki, when I said I had nothing to do it with it. She says, "I know Brian, you would never do anything this embarrassing." The rest of the class groaned since it was basically my fault.

Other Periods included the Schnapps and Beer Period, the Tanqueray and Tonic Period, and everyone's favorite, the Harbor Lights Period. Hell, John even named his dog Schnapps during one drink Period. My good friend Bob Recupero sent me a nice message after hearing about John. On the invite to the Celebratory Party in FaceBook, he wrote:

I think we should do a toast with shots of 'Harbor Lights'

I agree. And I think something from each of the periods. I am sure there are Periods I have missed.

Here is to Schnapps, the greatest dog of all time...

The third email was to Coach Bill Beaney of Middlebury College. Through John, I have gotten to know him pretty well and consider him a friend. I knew he had probably heard, but John had many stories he would tell me related to Coach and the hockey team. All good and some pretty funny. I wanted to relay that message to him.  I hope Coach does not mind but he wrote back about John:

He has left an impact on generations of young men and women in our hockey program with his kindness and caring.

That was the kind of person John aspired to be. Be kind and care. He did it with all his friends. My Dad said once that John would take a $100 paycheck and spend $150 of it on his friends. But he also would spend it on family. Before he was married, John really like to have fun with our kin. This could include me, our nephew Brandon, and our niece Lori. Here is a photo of us playing catch with Brandon. He never stopped laughing...

John also inherited the fun of playing cards from my parents. He loved to play cribbage, Hearts, Oh Hell, and any game you could think of. I remember playing poker on Christmas Eve in the small kitchen of the Weybridge Street house. John was the instigator. I am on the left, Dad next to me still in his Santa Claus pants from doing the rounds of delivering presents. Rick Merrill and Jim Riley, a few beers and of course John with his back to the camera.

Then John got married and had two sons, Israel first and Jared to follow. Now all that energy would go into the family instead of the friends. I am not saying he stopped being a party-man, I am just saying his focus changed.

He still would spend a lot of time on sports including both High School and College. I got to hold the NCAA Division III National Championship Trophy because John set up a tour with Coach Beaney. Mom and Israel joined me. Coach asked if I wanted to hold all five, won in five consecutive years. I settled for one...

Earlier I said that when I found out about John's death, the whole world changed. What I meant is that the world has become a sadder place because a person as caring and kind as John has left it. I do not see many replacements like John coming along. He did well with his two sons, but they are not John. John, I believe, is irreplaceable. One of kind. Everyone has a great story to tell about him...Did I mention he loved the ocean?